20th March 2009

Dear Sir,

I would like to express my concern at the use of one of my compositions, "Flying Over Blue Waters", in the film "Angel of Dorkness", a hard-core movie published by your company. I have seen clips from this film on the YouPorn site and I have the following issues:

1. Your company does not return PRS statements, which means that I won't receive payment for any subsequent broadcast of the movie or its derivative

2. There is no credit in any form given to the composer and, by Californian statute AF56655-01-a, a credit should be given to all those individuals contributing to a licensed, broadcast work

Please contact me at the earliest opportunity.

Yours faithfully,

David J. Hughes
Thinking Metal Music

21st March 2009

Dear Mr. Hughes

Thank you for your message of 20th March 2009.

The track concerned, "Flying Over Blue Waters", was released under a Creative Commons License from Magnatune.com in December 2007. Consequently, no royalty payments are due and we do not normally return PSR statements as our movies are not normally broadcast through any medium except the internet.

Likewise, we do not add credits to clips shown on sites such as YouPron because there would not be room for everyone. And, besides, who would read them? Any individual who contributes to our products is gvien full accreditation on the distributed product though most individuals prefer anonymity since they nearly all have other work in the mainstream film industry.

I hope that this addresses your concerns.

Yours sincerely,
K. Jackson Earle, MBNA
Risky Bizness Enterprises, CA, USA

21st March 2009

Dear Mr. Earle,

Thank you for your letter of earlier today.

I have been researching your recent releases and have discovered 5 further instances where my music has been used, without full accreditation. Specifically:

1. "Whip me, Bite me" @ 15:17 : three ladies pretending to whip eachother in a manner that is somewhat unconvincing. My music, "Minerva", was meant as a tender love song and not as a prelude to an SM fantasy.

2. "Thrust 10" @ 3:34 : two gentlemen engaging in very vigorous oral sex, accompanied by my track "First Flight". I did not have this in mind when I wrote this track.

3. "My First Lesbian 14" @ 1:24, a young girl discovering her sexuality with a collection of root vegetables accompanied by "At the Edge of Known Space"

4. "My first Lesbian 14" 16:34, two young girls in a school shower disvovering their sexuality with a collection of cleaning aids accompanied by "Evensong"

5. "My first Lesbian 14" 27:45, 6 young girls in a bedroom discovering their sexuality with an array of household implements accompanied by "Tangents".

If you plan on using any of my music in future productions them I must insist that I am fully credited for my work.

Yours faithfully,

David J. Hughes
Thinking Metal Music

24th March 2009

Dear David,

As I stated in my previous letter, your music was released under a Creative Commons license. Therefore, no royalities are due to you as a consequence of our usage of your music.

I hope you enjoy our products.

Yours sincerely,
K. Jackson Earle, MBNA
Risky Bizness Enterprises, CA, USA

24th March 2009

Hi Jackson,

Please read my letter properly. I am not asking for royalty payments. I know the music was issued under a Creative Commons License. I am asking for a credit for writing some of the music.

I note, with interest, that a composer is credited for "original music", a Mr. Earle Jackson. Is he a relative?

David

24th March 2009

David, I am a very busy man. I don't have time to read everything that comes in my In Box. That was a standard reply. We're not paying you any royalties for your music. Earle Jackson is my brother-in-law. He writes all of our music.

K. Jackson Earle, MBNA
Risky Bizness Enterprises, CA, USA

25th March 2009

Mr. Earle,

Your brother-in-law did not write the original music for "I want my Mommy!" because the music used throughout is from one of my albums, "The Fabulous Neutrinos", ref : TMCD0002, (2001). Furthermore, this album was not released under Creative Commons and I retain full copyright of the material. A correction and an apology are required.

David

26th March 2009

David,

Do you have nothing better to do than watch pron? Dude, you need to get a life. Can you please just drop this whole thing? I'll send you a free sack of porn if you just get lost.

Jackson

27th March 2009

Dear Mr. Earle,

Thank you for the offer of a 'sack full of free porn'. If meant as compensation for the use of my works then I must reject this offer. I require an apology and compensation for the illegal use of my music. Failure to issue an immediate apology will result in the issue of a formal letter of complaint to the Musician's Union, PRS and MCPS.

Yours faithfully,

David J. Hughes
Thinking Metal Music

27th March 2009

Dear David,

The use of "The Fabulous Neutrinos" was a mistake, which I regret. Sorry. Future versions of the movie "I want my Mommy!" will be recut without it. Furthermore, we will not be using any of your music in future productions.

I have also asked our editing department to amend all downloadable versions where your music has been used, specifically "Up My Butt 4", "Tracy Dick, Private Eye 21" and "Come, Felch with me 2".

Yours,
K. Jackson Earle, MBNA
Risky Bizness Enterprises, CA, USA

28th March 2009

Dear Mr. Jackson,

Thank you for your prompt action in the resolution of this matter.

I would also like to thank you for the 'delivery' which arrived this morning. Sadly, said delivery was accompanied by 3 members of Her Majesty's Customs and Excise, who were interested in the contents of the package and its origin. Said package has been confiscated and I am now under investigation for importing material contrary to the 1999 Illegal Publications Act. I have been informed that the matter has now been passed to the US Law Enforcement agencies.

Regards,

Davids
Thinking Metal Music

29th March 2009

David, There was nothing illegal in that package. It was all perfectly legitimate adult entertainment. There was nothing in or on that package that could be of interest or worthy of note to HMRC. Please stop this rather juvenile attempt to interrupt our normal business activities. Do you think I am stupid?

Jackson

29th March 2009,

Jackson, I have just been invited to write a formal statement for Her Majesty's Customs and Excise detailing where these items came from and how I came to have them. I understand that this issue has been passed to the FBI, who will, no doubt be in contact with you in the next day or so. This is no joke. Did you know what was in that package? Did you imagine that I would want to watch "Granny Sex 15" or "I love my horse 23"? This material is strictly prohibited in the UK and, furthermore, "My Little Pony 3" features "Network of the Heart" from the T-Bass UK "The Infection of Time" which, again, was not released under a Creative Commons License.

So, I now have physical evidence that you have been ripping me off and breaking pretty much every copyright rule in the book. I strongly recommend that you seek legal representation at the earliest opportunity.

30th March 2009, 1715 UT

David, I did not know that this material was illegal in the UK. I did not know that T-Bass was one of your bands and I very much regret the use of "Network of the Heart" althoguh I think that, in context, it works beautifully.

Still no visit from the FBI. Are you taking the piss?

Jackson

31st March 2009

Jackson, re "Network of the Heart", whilst it was intended as a tender expression of love and devotion to my girlfriend and partner, I do not agree that it works perfectly in the given context wherein a young girl is giving a Stallion a hand job. I think it is grossly inappropriate. Please remove my music from this movie immediately.

1st April 2009

The Feds have just left. Thanks. I am out of business. My stock has been taken. All of my computers and shit have been confiscated. I'm writing this on my daughter's blackberry on the way back from court.

Expect a visit from one of my associates.

1st April 2009

Jackson, I am not easily intimidated. All the same, I have passed your 'threat' to the Police who will, no doubt, forward it on to the relevant law enforcement authorities in your country.

Best regards, David

P.S. I am quite enjoying "Police Squad On Patrol 23". I didn't know Eddie Van Halen wrote your music.